国外段子手精选：穆里尼奥保卫战！

上周的欧洲赛场精彩看点层出不穷：切尔西与利物浦握手言和，曼联输给西汉姆联，而阿森纳和曼城则顺利取胜。

而在西甲赛场，巴萨战平毕包，连续三轮不胜；而皇马则与马竞互交白卷，再次错失登顶良机。话不多说，让我们快来看看歪果仁们的精彩吐槽吧！

战绩不佳，曼联1-3西汉姆联

JihadDerp(英格兰球迷)：曼怜。(Moan United.)

Eff_Jay(纽卡斯尔球迷)：穆离尼奥。(Mourinhout.)

ParisHL(西汉姆联球迷)：我们不是刚在英联杯踢了麦克斯菲尔德吗，现在这是在踢第二轮？(Didn't we play Macclesfield the other day, or is this the second leg?)

ABloodEagle(曼联球迷)：我觉得穆帅得来一个三年包退换的售后服务才行…(Mourinho should come with a three year return warranty.)

break2n(英格兰球迷)：曼联还是有几个好消息的！一是这赛季利物浦和曼城至少有一支是拿不到联赛冠军的；二是曼联已经远离降级区8分之多，三是费莱尼表现很好，已经是曼联最有威胁的进攻点了！(Positives for United: At least 1 of Liverpool and City cannot win the league at a time. 8 Points clear of relegation. Fellaini looking like one of the most dangerous attacking options.)

SexyMooli(巴基斯坦球迷)：还有个好消息，就是这周不用支付桑切斯那8.5万镑的赢球奖金，简直赚翻了！(Another positive. Don't have to pay Alexis an additional £85,000 bonus this week. Quite a bargain.)

ErydayMansOnTheBlock(未知主队球迷)：桑切斯没伤没病，也跟着球队去客场了，但却连大名单都没进去。他这加盟曼联9个月来到底得到什么了…(Alexis didn't even make the squad. No injury, travelled with the team, but didn't make it. What a nine months he has had...)

Ericdrye(阿森纳球迷)：得到了大概1500万的钞票吧！(150 million cash I think.)

JavBG17(阿森纳球迷)：如果费莱尼已经在场上了，那你在第90分钟落后的时候还能换上谁去争顶头球呢？(If Fellaini is already on the pitch, who are man u going to bring on for that 90th minute header?)

MurrayBookchinIsBae(曼联球迷)：今夜我们要成为段子之王了…(Tonight we king on memes.)

UnpopularViewsBot(未知主队球迷)：你要么作为特殊的一个死去，要么苟活到目睹自己成为了失败专家。(You either die a special one, or you live long enough to see yourself become the specialist in failure.)

(注：此句原出自《蝙蝠侠：黑暗骑士》，“特殊的一个”和“失败专家”均是穆帅经典语录之一。)

AdenintheGlaven(布莱顿球迷)：好羡慕佩莱格里尼65岁还有一头秀发啊！(I am envious at Pellegrini's head of hair at 65.)

Estova(阿森纳球迷)：好了鲁尼我知道是你，请不要再用小号了！(Well Rooney I know it’s you, use your own account pls.)